Open Letter to the Right

Dear American Right:

As a center-left, morally degenerate WOKE baby killer, and therefore thoroughly unrighteous according to your definition of righteousness, I would like to thank you for allowing me to see the light.  Your stance on gun control legislation has caused me to change my perspective on another hot issue in America on two fronts.

Firstly, thanks to you, I now realize the problem in America is not abortion.  Rather, it is mental health.  Those who support abortion in any way go against your extrapolations of God’s word.  However, since your extrapolations are so obvious even though there are no direct bans on abortion in the Bible, anyone who goes against them is obviously suffering from some form of mental illness.  Thanks to you, I also now realize I was foolish when I believed it was reasonable to extrapolate that the Bible condemns the massacre of children in their classrooms.  I now clearly see that the Bible does not condemn such massacres of innocent children at all.  Nor does it call upon any of us to do anything to prevent such massacres. The fact I have not seen this before is another obvious indication I too, suffer from mental illness.  I would therefore like to add my voice to the chorus of Right-wing Americans who call for increased finances to combat the rampant mental health problems in America.

Secondly, thanks to you, I now understand that coupled with increase government assistance to combat mental health issues, we do not need fewer abortion clinics in America, but more, way more.  Your argument that more guns and more AR-15’s in particular, will decrease gun violence despite evidence to the contrary is most convincing.  I say this because many thousands of you are evangelical Christians and as such, represent our only conduit to God.  I can only conclude, therefore, that despite overwhelming statistical evidence to the contrary with respect to your more guns stance, it must have been the Holy Spirit who revealed this to you.  Could you please thank him the next time you speak to him?  I can clearly see now that we need more abortion clinics in America as well as fewer restrictions on abortion.  This, combined with increased government assistance for mental health, will drastically reduce the number of abortions.

 I would like to ask of you one favor, as an act of compassion for one who has so recently been so unrighteous.  I feel now I have been converted, it is my duty to convert as many Left-leaning degenerate WOKE baby killers as possible, but I know they will ask me when the Holy Spirit revealed that more guns are the solution in America despite overwhelming statistical evidence to the contrary.  While I would personally never want to argue against the Holy Spirit, my fellow degenerates want to know whether the Holy Spirit revealed your stance on gun control to you as you covered up massive amounts of child abuse in your religious institutions, or when you covered up the massive amounts of rape and incest which are higher among your population than they are in the general population.  I know this question will probably anger you, but since Jesus commanded you to preach the good news about guns to all the world before the end comes, I think it appropriate that you provide the degenerates I want to convert with an answer out of Christian love and compassion.

 

Yours sincerely,

Marc Breault